To me, it seems ironic that May is Mental Health Month, both from a farm perspective and from the perspective of a mother. From both perspectives, it’s a month that reminds you about all the uncertainty that exists in life.
On the farm, May is typically the month when everything comes on at once. The crops need planted, the fence needs made, the haylage needs harvested, and the weeds and lawn need tending. We spend the month wavering between wishing for more rain and wishing it would dry off enough to get our crops planted. And we look ahead toward the summer with uncertainty – will it ever stop raining long enough to get our crops planted, what if major storms blow through, will this be a good growing season, what’s going to happen to commodity prices until we get our crops off? Even on the dairy side, we worry about our forages stretching if we don’t keep crops planted in time and how quickly we can get it harvested to maximize both yields and quality. There are a lot of “what ifs” we are facing in May.
As a mother, May is the month of major milestones. It’s the month when you watch your child register for kindergarten, transition from elementary to middle school, finish the spring season, pick their high school courses, take the SATs, graduate from high school, attend college orientation, take their first real job, and so on. There are also often many weddings, bridal showers, and baby showers in May, which are all major milestones for parents. Mother’s Day is thrown in the middle of it all, often taking a back seat to other celebrations planned for the month.
So, why would anyone pick May as Mental Health Awareness Month? Don’t we have enough to do in the middle of the spring season? Maybe it is because someone much wiser than me thought we needed a reminder, with so much uncertainty all around us, to pause, to breathe, to reflect, and to remember what matters most in life.
Last month I had the opportunity to interview a dairy farmer for our Cowside Conversations Podcast who I thought would spend most of the time talking about his genetics program and how he pushes his herd to perform. While he talked about that, he spent a good bit of time sharing how he has learned in recent years to be content and grateful, even when it seems like everything around him can feel beyond his control.
His comments were especially a good reminder for me right now. Along with navigating a busy season both at the Center and on the farm, I also have two kids graduating this month and another one preparing for a wedding in two months. While all these milestones should be filled with joy and excitement, I find myself feeling anxious about the future and nostalgic over the chapters in my life that are ending. Some days I feel like my mind is being held hostage by all the uncertainty right now.
So, when this uncertainty is weighing heavy, what can we do to create perspective and find contentment with the hand we have been given? Here are a few tips I found.
- Practice Acceptance. How hard do you hold onto things that are outside your control? Practicing acceptance is about acknowledging that life is not perfect and learning to let go of the things you cannot change. It’s also acknowledging what you are feeling, even when it is difficult, and forgiving yourself and those around you when things don’t go the way you want.
- Invest in Yourself. The farmer who I interviewed last month spoke about how you can isolate yourself on the farm, especially when things are difficult, and how that can lead to a dark place. Finding ways to recharge and invest in your own wellness is important. Someone once told me it is about finding what feeds your soul – whether that’s taking time away, sitting down to read or reflect in the evening, working in your gardens, taking a long walk, exercising, or just meditation and prayer. What works for one person doesn’t work for everyone. The trick is to figure out what that is for you and then do it.
- Don’t Believe Everything You Think. Have you ever started to think about something and then found your mind spiraling toward all the worst-case scenarios? It’s been my experience that it’s usually the things we never see coming that end up taking our breath away. Most of what we worry about never actually happens. Overthinking is mentally exhausting and incredibly stressful. When you find yourself overthinking, find ways to ground yourself in the present. Sometimes it can be as simple as shifting your focus through listening to music, finding someone to talk to, or even just taking a deep breath.
- Stop Complaining. Do you see problems or seek solutions? Most farmers are natural problem solvers. Honestly if you weren’t a problem solver, you would probably gravitate toward a much more consistent job where you knew what to expect day in and day out. However, even as problem solvers, we can spend a lot of time complaining about why we have to solve the problem – whose fault it is, what caused it, and how it happened. While it’s important to make sure you identify the cause so you can avoid repeating it, it’s not healthy for anyone to dwell on the negative. Instead, work on shifting your perspective to focus on what’s good, even if it’s finding the silver lining in a bad situation.
- Find Meaning in the Chaos. We all have something we are passionate about, something that gets us excited and gives us meaning. Some refer to it as “your why.” Maybe for you, it’s the legacy you are building with the farm or the opportunity you are providing for your family. Maybe it is your role in feeding the world or caring for the land and your animals. Whatever that is, lean into it and hold onto it during times of uncertainty. It can help you navigate life’s challenges and find direction amid the uncertainty.
The one thing to realize is that we all struggle sometimes. Farming can be filled with uncertainty, and that uncertainty often leads to high levels of stress and anxiety. If left unchecked, anxiety can lead to depression and other mental health issues. It can also affect your physical health. Sometimes it can be beneficial to intentionally shift your perspective when you are faced with those times of uncertainty. Other times you might need some outside help. With May being National Mental Health Awareness Month, please remember we do have resources that can help listed on our website at www.centerfordairyexcellence.org/stress. One of those resources is the AgriStress Helpline, which is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at 1-833-897-2474.
Editor’s Note: This column is written by Jayne Sebright, executive director for the Center for Dairy Excellence.