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Christmas on the Farm

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

For many people “on the outside,” Christmas season on the farm seems so cozy and ideal. The warm glow of the lights from the barn shining on the snow in the early evening darkness, stars of the winter sky twinkling overhead, coming in from chores to a hot cup of coffee, and warm farmhouse breakfasts with the Christmas lights still on in the early morning.

However, for those of you operating the farm, the Christmas season often goes by in a blur and brings not much more than added stress. The cold impacts how everything operates, water is freezing up, increased darkness makes work and repairs all the more frustrating, electric bills go up with more hours of light needed and added heating costs, buying gifts and extra food for the holidays seems like a burden, not to mention the thought of running year-end numbers and tax season approaching.

Here are some tips to help the holiday season be less stressful and more meaningful:

Set realistic expectations. We may have idealistic plans for meals, decorating, schedules, etc. but our lives aren’t a Hallmark movie. Make sure it works for you.
Say no to what doesn’t fit the budget, the schedule, the values, and the energy level.
Plan your spending ahead of time with a budget.
Cut as much chaos from your environment as possible to create relaxing surroundings.
Maintain healthy habits by eating nutritious food, taking vitamin D, getting rest, and drinking plenty of water.
Find moments to relax and take a nap, read, go for a walk, or take a break.

My hope for you is that peace reigns over your holiday season, not chaos and stress. I encourage all of you to pause and take it in. Remember what the magical moments of the holiday season were like for you as a child. Let yourself notice those details again. Be present in the moment. Look up at the stars.

Count Your Blessings

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

“Count your blessings, name them one by one.” I’m sure many of you remember this line from a years ago church hymn. With Thanksgiving coming up this month, let’s take a moment to focus on thanks! My hope is that it will be much more than just a moment of focus and will instead turn into a daily habit.

Why is focusing on what we are thankful for and blessed with important?

First, when we focus our thoughts on what is going right and what we have been blessed with, it will lower stress levels and help us feel better.

Second, when we focus on all of the things in our lives that we are thankful for, it draws more of those things to us. It is remarkable how this happens. Much like self-fulfilling prophecy, when we think about and focus on all of the goodness in life we, we will see more and more of it coming our way.

I have had people tell me that other than their family, they have nothing to be thankful for. At that point, I kindly challenge them to expand their thankfulness. Do they have hot and cold running water? A roof over their heads? A bed to sleep in? Do they have a body that works? Organs that keep them alive? Do they have food and water? Just those few items of thankfulness are more than millions of people in the world have.

What else? Do we see beauty in nature? Do we have the ability to earn income? Do we have all of our senses that enrich our days – sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell? Do we have clothes and shoes?

You get the idea. There is SO MUCH to be thankful for!

How can you implement thankfulness into your every day? We have no problem focusing on things that aren’t going well or things that we assume aren’t going to go well. What if we pivoted just a bit to put some of that mental energy into noticing and feeling thankful for all of the things that are working and going well. I promise it will make a difference. Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Make it more than a one-day celebration. Make it a lifestyle.

Business Meetings on the Farm? Really?

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

YES! Really. Why? The short answer is, you are running a business. For the longer answer and benefits of planned business meetings, keep reading.

Communication: I think everyone has experienced the frustration of unmet expectations and differing perceptions. “Why can’t everyone just think like I do?” “They should know what to do without being told.” “Can’t they just look around and see what needs to be done?” “I told him/her last week that we would have to pay that bill and now we are overdrawn.” Communication breakdown happens everywhere on the farm from the office to the shop to the field to the barn. Those on the farm/ranch team REQUIRE regular communication to keep the ship above water and on course.
Efficiency: One common phrase I hear when I’m working with farmers or farm families is “I never know where he is or what he’s doing.” All ag production operations need to run efficiently to survive in light of all the uncontrollables. When inefficiencies exist, time is wasted, money is wasted, and emotions tend to run high.
Roles: Does the farm team find themselves tripping over each other not knowing who is supposed to be doing what or when? Often family members and/or employees don’t have a clear understanding of their role and duties on the operation. This leads to frustration on their part and inefficiency in the operation as well as overwhelm for the primary operator trying to keep it all together.

Farm/Ranch Business Meetings are a tool to improve communication, increase efficiency and clarify roles and duties. There are really two levels of business meetings: one for the owners/operators to make sure they are on the same page with the overall operation of the business, including strategic plans. The other is for the team who works together managing day-to-day operations on the farm.

When asked about how often to have team meetings, it really depends on your operation and how many people are involved. The more people, the greater the need for increased communication. As a rule, weekly team meetings and quarterly owner/operator meetings can be effective. However, if your operation is really dynamic with a lot of moving parts, you may need to touch base daily even if only for a few minutes.

The next question I’m asked about is what to include on the agenda. An agenda? YES! Make an agenda. It helps you stay focused, and someone should take notes on the meeting so you can refer back on decisions and discussion. Not everyone will remember it the same way.

Business meetings are KEY on a farm/ranch operation to keep everyone on the same page. Even if it is just you and your spouse, do the meeting! You’ll be glad you did.

Could It Be Grief?

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

There is an incredible amount of grief and loss in the world of agriculture that is generally unrecognized. We tend to attach grieving with loss of life, but in reality, grief can be attached to any loss or change such as losses of property, normalcy, security, employment, hopes and dreams, routine, and functioning.

Types of losses that are common in ag are physical losses due to natural disasters and other weather events, crop failure, death of livestock, loss of functioning after a farm accident causes an injury, transitioning the farm to the next generation (causing loss of purpose), not having a next generation to transfer the farm to (causing loss of the ongoing family legacy), selling livestock, selling land or letting leased land go, divorce, and not experiencing what the dream of owning the farm was meant to be like.

Many times these types of losses that cause a grief response are unrecognized by ourselves and others. We may feel overly emotional or unmotivated. We may find ourselves isolating or losing interest in things that we used to enjoy. We might be losing our temper with others in our family or people we work with. If you find these things happening for you, it may be worth stepping back and taking a look at what is going on. Have you had major changes in your life? Have you experienced a loss? Do you feel like you no longer have a purpose? You could be grieving!

Recognizing that what you may be dealing with is grief can be helpful. Give yourself grace. Know that grief is an ongoing process and often feels less daunting with time. Work to focus on the good and positive things in your life. Find things to look forward to. Keep in touch with friends and family.

If you find that you are not feeling better, even with the passage of time, reach out to someone – your pastor/priest, a counselor, your doctor, a trusted friend or family member. And know that at any time, for any reason, you can call or text 988, the national suicide and crisis lifeline.

The Risks of Isolation on the Farm

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

“Even before the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, approximately half of U.S. adults reported experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. Disconnection fundamentally affects our mental, physical, and societal health. In fact, loneliness and isolation increase the risk for individuals to develop mental health challenges in their lives, and lacking connection can increase the risk for premature death to levels comparable to smoking daily.”

When I read these words in Surgeon General Murthy’s advisory Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation published in 2023, I was shocked at the parallels drawn between isolation and premature death rates. Then I began thinking about the isolation our farm families endure and the higher-than-average rates of farmer suicides.

Isolation comes in many forms on the farm: working alone for long hours, living in rural settings, aging populations on the farm with limited ability to travel and/or use technology to connect, long distances to travel to connect with friends and family, lack of adequate broadband capability, and a general feeling that ‘I’m in this fight alone. No one understands.’ Isolation can be not only geographic caused by living in very rural areas, but it can also be social caused by lack of a peer group or people who “get us.”

This is further exacerbated in the older generation when they transition off the farm and are no longer a part of the active day-to-day activities, including interacting with their vet, nutritionist, and other workers. Another example of being thrown into isolation is when the dairy herd needs to be sold due to financial or health reasons.

So what can we do when feelings of loneliness and isolation creep in? First, acknowledge that’s how you are feeling. Second, focus on things in your life that you are thankful for. Third, intentionally make time for family and friends. Fourth, embrace or discover hobbies. Fifth, spend time outside in nature. Sixth, volunteer or help in the community. And seventh, talk about it with someone you trust. This can be a counselor, pastor or priest, trusted friend or family member, mentor, doctor, etc.

Connection to other people is vitally important to our overall health and wellbeing! Even us introverted, hardworking farmers need interaction with others to avoid loneliness and isolation.

What Exactly Does Stress Mean? (Part Two)

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

Last month’s article kicked off a two-part series on stress. This month is Part Two where we will look at what happens to us when we are in stress response mode. Most people have heard of “fight or flight.” However, there are 4 stress responses – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn – that we automatically revert to when experiencing stressors. For many farmers and farm families where chronic or ongoing stress has been a part of life, it can feel like we “live” in a stress response mode.

The Fight stress response is common and easy to identify. This stress response can look like yelling, throwing things, physical aggression toward people or animals, or some type of “fight” behavior.

The Flight stress response can be easily spotted during stressful times. This is when a person either physically leaves during stressful times or emotionally withdraws and disengages or disconnects.

The Freeze stress response is exactly what it sounds like. It feels like our minds and bodies are frozen. It’s difficult to move, to think, to remember, and to make decisions. It may feel like we are in a “brain fog.”

The Fawn stress response is a lot like people pleasing. This response is an attempt to calm the situation by “making” the other person happy or satisfied.

Pay attention to your most common response when stressed. Work to notice when you are in a stress response mode, and then work to calm. Take slow deep breaths. Make a plan. Focus on what you can control. Get that rational, thinking brain turned back on!

What Exactly Does Stress Mean? (Part One)

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

We use the word stress to describe feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, and emotional in general. However, our understanding of what is happening to us when we feel “stress” is largely not understood. So, let’s talk about it!

When a stressor appears (it can be an actual stressor happening in the moment like equipment breaking down, cows are out, or a disagreement with another person) or it can be a stressor that we are worried about happening at some future point in time (we aren’t going to be able to make payments, what if it keeps raining, etc). Our brain doesn’t necessarily decipher between an anticipated stressor and one that is actually happening. It has the same response.

The stress response looks like a number of things happening immediately and automatically such as an increase in blood pressure and heart rate, increased adrenaline and cortisol levels, increased release of glucose to give us energy, and shallow and faster breathing. What is NOT on that list is rational thinking because our brain goes offline as stress kicks in. That’s why it is so much harder to read, remember things, and make decisions when we are stressed, because our rational thinking brain is taking a break while the emotions take over.

This is actually a life-saving mechanism. It is built into us to keep us safe, which is our brain’s primary objective. Picture this: If a bull is chasing you through the pasture, do you stop to consider your options? NO! Typically, you react immediately by fighting or running. That is the built-in lifesaving mechanism. When our brain senses danger (stress) we react instead of having to think. That’s a very good thing when we are facing life or death situations. However, the vast majority of our stress is not life or death. The brain still reacts the same way, which leads us to our stress response – Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. I will expand on these in my next article.

For now, let’s focus on noticing what is happening within our brain and body when the stress hits. Notice your breathing, your heartbeat, your actions, your ability to think. Then, work to calm. Take slow deep breaths. Plan. Focus on what you can control. Get that thinking rational brain turned back on!

The Stress of Farm Transition

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

With the average age of the American farmer being just shy of 60-years-old, farm/ranch transitions from one generation to the next are prevalent. In family farm transition conversations and meetings that I’m a part of, it is clear the stress that comes with navigating this process feels all-consuming for the parties involved. What makes farm transitions complex goes beyond the financial and legal intricacies to include difficult relationship dynamics, communication breakdown, identification of new roles and responsibilities, and a loss of identity in some cases.

First, let’s look at trends I see with the older or “outgoing” generation. In most cases they have spent their lives working, building, and sustaining the family farm. Their identity, purpose, and feelings of usefulness are tied to the farming operation. To think of life without the daily decisions, work, and maintenance is a reality that many cannot fathom. Thinking about the end of their farming days also brings up realities of physical and cognitive decline as well as an awareness of their own mortality. In addition, many question if the next generation can manage the operation and keep the legacy alive.

With all this weighing on the hearts and minds of the older generation, it is not uncommon for them to avoid discussing a transition or succession plan. This, of course, can add to the stress and frustration for the younger or “incoming” generation and often results in hard feelings and difficult communication.

Farming and ranching practices are dynamic and ever-changing, with new strategies, products, and practices. Often the younger partners on the farm have a desire to implement ideas and change practices that will increase efficiency and profitability only to feel unheard by the older generation who retain the primary decision-making authority. Furthermore, many in this generation are concerned with balancing work and family time as well as off-farm employment.

Each farm/ranch transition is unique. There is no one-size-fits-all guide to navigating this process. However, here are a few tips that I’ve found helpful:

Effective communication is critical! If you are unable to do that without a neutral third party being present, access someone to help. The Center for Dairy Excellence, Penn State Extension, Farm Business Managers, and other professionals have training and experience in assisting families through this time.
ALL involved family members need to be at the table.
Set a realistic timeframe. Take into account your seasonal workload, and avoid scheduling meetings and/or deadlines during busy times.
Make one of your first conversations in this process about the legacy, values, and goals of your operation. What is the purpose behind which you’ve operated the business and how can this be shared as it moves from one generation to the next?
Find ways to honor the older generation. If the operation is still in business, they have done something right. Let them tell their story. Ask them how they made it through their own transition and other difficult times. Ask them what has been hard and what has been rewarding. Get out photos and share in the memories of the farm’s past.
Disagreements will happen. Go into meetings with a problem-solving mindset and a willingness to compromise.
Define what each person’s role looks like before, during, and after transition. Who will complete which tasks? Who is in charge of what? Who makes decisions? Who manages employees? The more clearly defined the roles are, the less opportunity for confusion, frustration, and inefficiency.
Have all family members complete a personality style assessment and a communication styles assessment. I find this helps everyone understand how and why people function the way they do.
Remember and operate under the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

It is important to start transition and succession planning conversations early and communicate often about wishes and plans. Farm and ranch transitions are stressful, but they can also be a time to celebrate the ongoing legacy of the operation.

Irrigating Relationships

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

Most people I talk to are under the impression that, as a farm counselor, the calls I get are all about the stresses of uncontrollables like markets and weather. They are surprised when I share that the number one reason farmers call me is conflict and unhappiness in relationships. Sometimes, it’s relationships between spouses, or with children, parents, or farming partners such as siblings.

What do we do when the decline in our relationships leads to unbearable stress? Let’s contrast relationship problems with a field that needs irrigation.

Irrigation ensures plant growth. Without it, seeds would not sprout and/or plants would wither. Without irrigation on certain soil types, yields would be poor at best. Think about that field like a relationship that is struggling. It’s no longer a relationship of bounty and happiness, but a relationship of lack and conflict.

Here are 3 key strategies to consider when making effort to repair a damaged relationship:

Identify your source. Much like the water that is needed to irrigate, people in a relationship need a common point of unity. What brings you together? What do you agree on? What was different when your relationship seemed better? What common beliefs and values do you share? Focus on these commonalities as a stepping stone to growth.
Communication is key. Think of communication as the pipeline that brings the life-giving water to the field. It needs to be in good repair to do what it is meant to do. If left unmaintained, water might be leaking out with no hope of reaching the ground that needs attention. Communication is much the same. It is critical to making relationships work, however it must be in good repair for it to be successful. What does good communication look like? First and foremost, it looks like listening to hear and understand the other person. It looks like expressing care and concern. Good communication does not include blaming, disrespect, or put downs…that would be like leaky irrigator pipes.
Know what your relationship needs by knowing the other person. The water can be in the well, it can make it through the lines, but if the applicators on the irrigator are shooting and spraying in all the wrong directions, it may help the yield, but not as much as it could if there are some simple adjustments. Pay attention to the person you are having difficulty with. What are they going through? How do they feel cared about and loved? If you don’t know, ask! Often we try to adjust and fix our relationship issues without seeking to understand the other half of the relationship.

And remember, irrigation issues do not fix themselves. It takes intentional upkeep and maintenance on a regular basis. What can you make a practice of intentionally doing to support your relationships? Not sure? Ask them!

Winter Coping: 3 Areas of Focus

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

For many people, winter can be a difficult time with days overcome by a lack of motivation, negative thinking, and increased irritability. These can be symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is defined as a mood disorder in which abnormal moods occur in a regular seasonal pattern, such as depression during the short days of winter. SAD impacts approximately 10 million Americans and it is important to note that while most people are affected during the winter, this disorder can be attached to any season.

There are multiple theories as to what causes SAD in winter months. Primarily it is thought that increased darkness stimulates production of melatonin which prepares our body for sleep. In addition, less vitamin D is produced which impacts our body’s ability to build and maintain healthy bones, brain cell activity and more.

When exploring options for preventing the difficult symptoms that come with winter months, there are 3 areas of focus: environmental, psychological, and behavioral.

Environmental coping strategies include:

Set your bedroom lights to turn on a half hour before you typically wake up to mimic sunrise.
Expose yourself to sunlight as early in the morning as possible.
Use an artificial light. These are also referred to as SAD lights, are relatively inexpensive, and accessible through sites like Amazon. Recommendations include utilizing a light that is full spectrum 10,000 lux and sitting within close range in the morning for approximately 20-40 minutes (varies based on level of symptoms).
Declutter home to make it an enjoyable place to be.
Include plants and fresh flowers in your home.

Behavioral coping strategies include:

Exercise.
Increase water intake.
Eat fresh foods.
Take a daily multivitamin containing D-3.
Try something new to fight the monotony of winter days (new recipe, game time, date night, winter bonfire, etc.).
Hot baths/sauna.
Meditation/prayer.

Psychological coping strategies include:

Set and focus on a goal.
Aim for acceptance and a positive mindset (pledge to make the best of the situation).
Work to not entertain thoughts that are unhelpful and negative.

If it is difficult to get through the day, even with attempting coping strategies, it is critical that you reach out and talk with someone. That someone can be a trusted friend, faith leader, healthcare provider, counselor or therapist. It may be determined that medication combined with other approaches like those mentioned above might be the best course of action. Isolating and withdrawing often feels like the easiest thing to do when faced with difficult moods and emotions, however it usually serves to make symptoms worse.

Winter months do not have to be dreaded. Through a combination of changes to your environment, behavior, and the way you think, it can be an enjoyable time of the year!

Holidays, Family, Farm, and Conflict – A Not-So-Joyous Combination

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

By the time you are reading this, you’ve made it through the Thanksgiving holiday. I’m hoping it was a great one full of peace, family, and reflection!

Unfortunately, what I hear from many people this time of year is apprehension and worry about spending time with their extended family during holiday gatherings. Much of the time, dissention over the farm is at the center of this anxiety. This might include how transition/succession planning is being handled, conflict amongst family you work with, differing views by non-farm siblings, and/or discomfort with in-laws. It’s easy to say “leave it all behind during the holidays for the kids,” but that is not always an easy thing to do.

Here are a few tips that will help manage family gatherings filled with angst:

Focus on what you control. You control YOU: your thoughts, your responses, your behaviors, and what you choose to focus on. Even if others are “pushing your buttons,” it is within our control to oversee our own buttons! You don’t control anyone else.
Avoid conversations about the business when at a family function. If others want to engage in a business meeting at Christmas dinner, encourage a different time and a set agenda to cover those items.
Remember that when emotions become BIG, we lose our ability to think, problem-solve, and be rational. Before engaging in a conversation, especially one that is potentially contentious, work to stay calm. Get your heart rate and breathing to a good place. Get focused on objectives. Then, enter the conversation.
Walking away, limiting time, leaving early, or not attending a family event is okay if the environment is toxic.

I hope these four strategies can assist you in having a truly joyful and blessed holiday season with the focus being on what you are thankful for and blessed with. This takes a lot of work and intentionality, but it is well worth it!

The Difficulty of Change

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

Change is hard! Whether it is a personal change like eating differently to lose weight or getting into an exercise routine, or if it is a change in our farming operation like making a transition plan or implementing a new procedure, it is all hard.

Why is change so difficult? We as humans typically gravitate to the known, the stable, and the secure. Change can disrupt what we’ve known and done for years. It can mean moving into uncharted territory with unknown results. And that is a little (or a lot) scary.

Let’s explore the three things that need to be in alignment for change to take place. First, we need to feel like the change is important. If we don’t view it as important, chances are we will not put our time and effort into making it happen.

Second, we need to feel confident in our ability to make change happen. This is tough. I’ve worked with farmers who APPEAR to be resistant and controlling when it comes to planning and implementing steps to transition the farm. However, what was below the surface was really just an apprehension of how, or if, it would work out. Fear is often at the core of this barrier to change.

Third, we need to feel ready to make the change happen. If we aren’t ready, there may be feeble attempts or half-hearted gestures but again, we won’t fully commit.

Some questions to ask to help move toward change include:

It sounds like things can’t stay the same as they are. What do you think you might do?
What changes were you thinking about making?
Where do we go from here?
What do you want to do at this point?
How would you like things to turn out?
After reviewing all of this, what’s the next step for you?

Finally, instead of viewing the change as something to be avoided or feared, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn. My guess is that your farming operation doesn’t look the same as it did 100 years ago or even 50 years ago. Much change has happened which has led you to where you are. Now it is time to think about where you want to be and embrace the change that will get you there!

Suicide in Agriculture

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

September is Suicide Prevention Month with many events and initiatives bringing attention to this far too common experience that devastates individuals and families. Suicides among farmers, ranchers, and agricultural workers are higher than the general population. I’m guessing most of you reading this article have been impacted or know someone who has been impacted by suicide in some way.

I want to briefly touch on three aspects of suicide awareness: Prevention, Intervention, and Postvention.

Prevention

This is all about noticing that someone is struggling and may be suicidal. This can be difficult as many people hide their pain well. Things to look for in people that could be a warning sign for suicide include: depressed mood, giving away prized possessions or “tying up loose ends”, a decline in physical appearance or the general upkeep of the farm, withdrawing/isolating, change in mood and/or activity level, statements about death, suicide and/or having no hope. Warning signs can also be situational – for example, if a person has recently gone through a divorce, financial crisis, or diagnosis of an illness.

Suicide prevention for ourselves and others also means taking care of ourselves physically, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, focusing on helpful thinking, and engaging in things that feed our soul or bring us joy.

Intervention

What do we do when we see or sense that someone is struggling? Think of it like this. If we noticed someone at an accident scene bleeding, we wouldn’t pass them by without at least calling 911 or rendering aid. In the case of potential suicide, people are “emotionally bleeding” and need help. Let the person you are worried about know what you are noticing that is causing concern and then ask the question, “Are you thinking of suicide?” or “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”

The next step is getting them to help which could include calling 988, 911, taking them to a local clinic, emergency department, or counseling agency.

Postvention

What do I mean by Postvention? Postvention is about supporting people who have been impacted by suicide. Those who have loved ones die by suicide are automatically at higher risk of attempting suicide themselves. They need support! Be a listening ear. Invite them to spend time with you. Engage them in events in the community, church, etc. Dealing with a loved one dying by suicide is a unique and tragic grief.

This is just a quick snapshot of these three areas of suicide awareness. I encourage you to access further training such as QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) or safeTALK. 988 is also a great resource and can be called or texted anytime 24/7. By working together, we can make an impact!

As a reminder, the PA AgriStress Helpline is available 24/7. Call 833-897-2474.

Harvest Hostility

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

The scenario goes something like this:

Rain clouds are on the horizon. The weather forecast reports chances of rain every day for the next 3 days. You have hay down and are trying to get wheat off. A belt goes on the combine. The implement is closed and there are no spare belts that size in the parts room. It’s as if all forces of nature are coming together to conspire against you. Add to that immediate stress the fact that commodity prices are low, you can’t keep a hired man on the farm to save your soul, and the argument you had with your spouse days ago is not resolved.

This is the perfect storm for Harvest Hostility.

The reality is that during harvest when you are using your equipment, your equipment will break down. When you are working from sun-up to long past sundown, you are going to be exhausted. Your hired help will not work as hard as you do or care as much. You will feel like you are carrying the weight of past, present, and future on your shoulders all at the same time. Given that reality, it is not a mystery why harvest time is especially stressful and can push people past their ability to cope.

The key is to know and understand the reality of your situation and work to mitigate the stress and damage that can come from anger and frustration getting out of control.

First, make sure you are meeting your basic needs. Drink water, eat regular healthy meals, take medication as prescribed, and get as much sleep as you can. This doesn’t “fix” your stressors, but helps you deal with them more effectively.

Second, focus on what is on your plate now. Reliving past mistakes or questioning past decisions is not helpful. Anticipating future failure in “worst case scenario” thinking is not helpful. Discipline your thinking to remain on what is in front of you and what needs to be dealt with today. Delegate when you can. Trim your to-do list. The way you think and what you think about directly affects your feelings…which directly affects your reaction to those feelings.

Third, keep the rational, problem-solving, prioritizing part of your brain engaged. When you allow emotions to take over, you lose the ability to think clearly and communicate effectively. Take note of when feelings of anger or frustration start creeping in. Immediately account for what thoughts are causing those feelings. Back up and deal with the thoughts. Make a plan. If it’s a breakdown, focus on the repair vs. the rain that is on the way. If it’s raining, focus on the tasks you can get done while harvest is paused vs. feeling anxious over the crop getting wet in the field. Separate out what you can control vs. what you do not have control over. Focus on the controllables.

Reining in Harvest Hostility is not easy and takes a lot of practice, but you can do it!

When It’s Hard to Hope

By Monica McConkey, a Rural Mental Health Specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting. Thank you for contributing these articles each month.

Most of us have been there at one time or another, feeling like we can think positive and hold onto hope until “the cows come home” but is it really going to matter? Difficult times in the dairy industry are here once again, and hope for many is dwindling. However, hope is something that we need to dig deep and uncover … even when it is the last thing we feel like doing!

What does finding hope do for us? It helps us hang on. It helps us refocus, problem-solve and re-prioritize. It helps us look at what is going well in our life and all the blessings we have.

Let’s do a little activity right now. Wherever you are, look around and notice all the things that are red. Go ahead … notice the reds.

Ok next, look around you and notice all the blues. Got them?

Now a question – when you were looking for the reds, did you see the blues? Were the blues there? Yes? No?

The answer of, course, is yes the blues were there, but we didn’t see them because we were looking for the reds. This is what happens in life. The difficult things, adversities, stressors, conflicts (the reds) seem to be looming large everywhere we look. And guess what happens? When we are tuned into the reds, we see more and more reds. We anticipate reds. We accept the reds as inevitable.

However, if we focus on the blues (what we are thankful for, what we accomplished, what is within our control), we will see more and more blues. Reds will still pop up, no question about that! But we don’t have to let the reds rule our lives. We can deal with the reds as we need to and go on focusing on the blues.

This, of course, is an exercise in controlling our thoughts and our mindset. Our mindset determines how we feel and how we deal with adversity. Our mindset determines holding on to hope. It is hard to have hope over the things outside of our control (like weather and milk prices), but we can have hope around the things that are within our control like the quality of our relationships, taking a problem-solving approach to things that cause stress, taking care of ourselves physically, nurturing our spiritual beliefs, and finding joy in life.

This is my encouragement to you to hold onto hope and focus on the blues instead of the reds!